Happy Two Years Hoss

I can't believe it's been two years since I delivered Hoss.  Last night when I was getting ready for bed I was thinking to myself... Two years ago I was getting ready to deliver Hoss and I had know idea what kind of impact it would be on me in my life. I remember all the nerves and feelings of the "unknown" going into the delivery room that day. I hate not knowing how things are going to go without planning. But I know my Heavenly Father had me not know for a special reason.  He knew Channing and I strengths and he knew what we could and could not handle. I just recently read about the trials Heavenly Father gives to us individually. President Boyd K. Packer said, "Life will not be free from challenges, some of them bitter and hard to bear.  We may wish to be spared from all the trials of life, but that would be contrary to the great plan of happiness, 'for it must needs be, for there is opposition in all things' This testing is the source of our strength." I am grateful for this challenge Heavenly Father gave me in my life. Yes I miss that I don't have a wild, little two boy running around right now, but I know I have the strength to go on. It hasn't always been easy but I have seen many tender mercies. I would like to share some special experiences that have happened recently in my life. During this past Holiday season, I was praying to feel to Hoss close by. I was feeling inadequate as a mom (As I know a lot of moms feel) and needed to be reassured I was doing something righ as mom and as a person.  During our ward Christmas program in sacrament meeting, I was singing with our ward choir. We were signing a song called, "Sweetly Carol Him." It is a beautiful song about when Baby Jesus was born. Every word that I sang I thought of my sweet Hoss. I could feel so strongly that he was right by my side. He was a wonderful reassurance for me. The tears started flowing right in the middle of this song and they were about to stop. I sat down by Channing after the song and he told me it's okay. He knew I had felt Hoss.  Well, I was trying to get it together before our family had to sing a special musical number.  I thought not right now I can't be an emotional wreck, but then how can I surpass the prompting of the spirit and an answer to my prayer I had been waiting for. As our family was singing our song my sweet friend was just sobbing and I was trying not to look at her in the crowd. She came up to me after the meeting still crying and told me how touched she was by my family's song, I told her thank-you. She said that she could feel someone else was singing with our family and how beautiful it was. That was another answer to my prayer that Hoss is always with me and our family everyday. At dinner last night we were talking about who's birthday it was.  The kids were excited its was their little brothers birthday. And we talked about how we were going to celebrate it. Channing was watching the video of Hoss' delievey with  Hinklee, all of a sudden I could hear her crying. I didn't  think much of it. She came up to me and said, "I miss Hoss mommy." It took me by surprise because this almost four year old little girl was really missing her little brother and she was so small when he was born and probably doesn't remember a lot of his delivery day. Channing said she probably has memories with Hoss in heaven and does have a special bond with him. It was a testimony builder for us of Eternal Families and how important it is to have our Eternal Family. I grateful that we have Hoss to help us remember this and always do our best so we can be together again.