Blessings

So much has went on these past few weeks, I have had a hard time knowing where to start.  I guess the thing that has been the hardest is the decision weather to do organ donation.  Chan and I felt so strongly about it and thought it would be awesome to help another baby out.  We met with the kindest lady about organ donation and went over the details. With anencephalic babies it's harder to donate their organs.  It's sometimes hard me for to grasp because his heart is perfect along with all of his other organs.  I wish they could donate more.  The drive home was very hard because Chan and I were torn on what to do with our little boy. We needed to pray about it and decide what would be best for our family, especially our kids.  As the week went on we were preparing for the upcoming meeting with the delivery team at the hospital.  They needed to know what our decision was incase they needed to have an organ donation specialist there.  I was so stressed and felt a lot of pressure! Who would of thought that Channing and I at 29 years of age would have to make such hard decisions for our unborn baby. I felt like  either decision was not a wrong decision. After much prayer, thought and tears we decided not to donate.  We want to spend as much time with Hoss as we can.  We also want the best experience for our kids to remember their little brother.  Hoss is so active inside my belly and I feel like he has his own little personality already.  My kids sing to Hoss and like to feel him kick.  I want it to be a special moment for them when they meet Hoss and see his little personality.  We didn't want it to be a scary experience for them.  When we met with the delivery team it was such a great experience.  I am so grateful I have chosen Logan Regional to deliver Hoss.  They have been so amazing!  We met a lot of special women that will take part in the delivery and my stay at the hospital. We are still on track for the first week in February to deliver. It's a little nerve racking how quick it is approaching. My pregnancy still has been very hard.  I have been very sick, but I don't want it to end.  My awesome husband Channing is so great and never complains.  I don't know what I would do without him during this experience. I am thankful for my kids. On my rough days and when I am down they always  know how to cheer me up with a hug.  I am also very grateful for the great community I live in.  A talented lady that lives down the road, puts on a big show with her social dance group.  They spotlight three families that are going through a struggle in their life and have a benefit for them.  We were chosen as one of the families....I didn't know what to say.  I am truly, truly grateful!  I already feel like I am blessed in many ways.   I feel the love of my Heavenly Father everyday!  I am the primary chorister In my ward.  I love my calling! I am teaching them the song "Could I Hold the Baby" for Christmas.  The first week I was teaching it, I noticed that some of the primary pres and my mom were tearing up.  I thought yes this is a really neat song.  The next week I was teaching the rest of the song and I was reading the words carefully.  I was doing everything in my power to hold back the tears.  This is the words to the chorus:

"Could I hold the baby?

Would he smile at me? Does he know why he is born and what his life will be?

Could I hold the baby?

And tell him of my love?

How glad I am that Jesus Christ 

Was sent from heaven Above.

It is a beautiful song! 

Hoss is continuing to grow which is a very good thing.  I have an upcoming OB appointment.  I love my doctor and appreciate how kind and helpful she is. I am excited to get together with family this thanksgiving weekend! A few weeks ago we had family pics done and I am so thankful for my wonderfully talented mom for taking them!